Beware of Trash in spiritual and healing circles

Studying the Family and Systems Constellations Training module and practice sessions activated the chitt and mann again. It was a good testing ground for neutrality. Despite the very short experience of Sampoorna Samarpan (Total Surrender) and the most benevolent QVSWPP by my side 24 by 7, the antahkaran started playing up every now and then again. i decided to tackle it once and for all when one of my colleagues who has been with Osho for over 2 decades messaged out of the blue about a family constellation workshop with someone called Darshan. Sree Maa had told us many times from the onset that the small self and the psychological make up is our own responsibility and that Sree Maa takes full responsibility only for the Akarmi (non-doer) and Atma. Plus i was studying Systemic Constellations myself, i decided to go for it.

It was the worst decision and remains one of the most rubbish and sickening experiences of my life till date. The first constellation went well. When i went for the second constellation, the facilitator gave stupid advises that i never asked for as i really had gone for a constellation and not some cognitive therapy or a C grade advisory session. What was most surprising was that she herself had said at the start of the day that "you are fed up of receiving advises" and then stupidly goes ahead and gives it herself at the end of the day😖. Instead of a constellation to resolve the energetic block for the feeling of being stuck with money and career, the facilitator gave ridiculous advises that i should study Ayurveda or become a high class slut. Absolutely shocking!

She never did a constellation and just kept barking nonsense without giving me a chance to speak. She went to the extent of asking the participants to say to me "tell her, she is cold and miserable" and like poodles without brains, they said it also of which 2 had never met me before. Only one person who also i met for the first time in that group disagreed with her and voiced it. Till date i thank her for the discernment she kept and not falling low like others as otherwise, i would have definitely hit depression thinking that something is really wrong with me if 5 people in a spiritual healing group were to say so. After a while, she told me to just get off the chair and go with a closing statement that there is a limit to giving. Really!!! i just wondered what was she giving.

i have never come back feeling so abused and harassed as i did from that workshop not only at the hands of the facilitator but the participants too and i take fully responsibility for putting myself through it. Since manan and chintan has always been a part of my life, i really gave thought to what had transpired. Was i really cold and miserable? May be there was a part in me that i was unaware of? i felt zero resonance to it.

i called up my colleague and told her that Darshan had really misbehaved and that she had no business giving such ridiculous advises, she said that she will tell Darshan to speak properly and then goes ahead to tell me of an incident about some friend of hers that was a high class escort and how she ended up getting married to one of her clients!!! i could not believe what i had just heard!!!

For the first time i realized that a lot of people are on the spiritual path but it doesn't necessarily mean they are evolved or enlightened or keep conscience. i got a full dose of spiritual glamour without any essence and massive healer's ego.

i really contemplated what was my learning curve out of the unpleasant experience. At the end of the day, this experience had manifested and i don't deny i sat and cried for what i had put myself through at the hands of a healer. The only answer i could find was 'DISCERNMENT'.

Anyway, the reason i mention this incident is that within a month, like a mother who knows the weakness and vulnerability of her child and what it is going through even when it doesn't voice it's feelings, Sree Maa yet again gave a colossal gift, the gift of sharanagati_/\__/\__/\_

Akarmi deh, Samdarshi

The new me that hadn't settled in Transcendence finally emerged in the Akarmi deh initiation😍This initiation was the culmination of what i had been experiencing since the start of 2015. My old self completely took a back seat and Niranjana, the akarmi fully took birth with the Akarmi deh initiation.  This was a colossal gift from Sree Maa Shri Ji where effortlessly the akarmi came forward. Had an inner knowingness that what required consistent awareness and effort earlier was now going to be the way of life.

After the initiation, i felt revived and fully ready to accept the new name that i had given consent for before the Retreat. Sree Maa had written down all the names on the board and we all tried guessing our own names. i related with quite a few surprisingly and loved my new name chosen by Sree Maa. Niranjana means pure and untainted, without any false hood🙏 All the names were attributes of the non-doer. Every time we took each others' akarmi names, we were reminding ourselves of the unchanging attributes of the akarmi. For instance, Archita means one who has surrendered to God. Every time i called her by that name, i was reminding myself that the akarmi is always surrendered to God. Every time i called Mala, it reminded that all akarmis are connected with one another with the common string Sree Maa Shri Ji and together we all resembled a beautiful garland spreading the fragrance of love, the QVSWPP. How absolutely beautiful!💖 atyant AbhAr Sree Maa Shri Ji 🙏

Embodying the akarmi was ultimate for me. i felt i had reached the pinnacle of what would have taken me eons to achieve. Sree Maa Shri Ji, being the ultimate embodiment of love and grace, showered yet another blessing of Samdarshi, the cherry on the cake.

Samdarshi loosely means 'like God' With this initiation we were given the blessing to not look at the Absolute from the outside but carry IT within us. This was SreeMaaShriJi honoring us. Sree Maa introduced the concept of Nar and Narayan where Nar carries an aspect of Narayan. In practical life, with this beautiful initiation, none of us would receive any mirrors from outside but Sree Maa Shri Ji and fellow FiTs would be our only mirrors. No more lessons would be taught by anyone. Sree Maa Shri Ji would teach the last few remaining lessons of the jivatma (incarnational soul) gently and with love🙏🙏🙏 atyant AbhAr Sree Maa Shri Ji for such ultimate Grace.

As i look back and reflect, one of my biggest mistakes and contribution towards the failure of FiT programme, enabling the narcissists and victimizing Sree Maa Shri Ji was the faulty application and understanding of the Samdarshi initiation. Will write about my reflections on this in detail soon.

May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat Part 3 - Master FiT

A lot of open discussions, trials and practice rounds were run to arrive at the best format that could be used to take 5D++ AwaKeNiN TrAnsFOrMaTiON (0 to 7) workshop to many. None of us felt confident to host the 2 days format like Sree Maa Shri Ji. Sree Maa Shri Ji gave us the option to come up with our own formats too but that was collectively rejected by everyone as was against Oneness that we all were working towards and if we came up with our own formats, where was Kosmic Fusion? We all knew that the session 0 could only be done by Sree Maa Shri Ji which meant that the workshop always would require Sree Maa Shri Ji to be present for session 0 at least.

Cutting a long story short, it was collectively decided to set up the stage in such a way where as FiTs, we only held space, always staying in non-action and allowing the process to unfold for the participants. To make it easier for everyone, that is, for the FiTs to always remember that it is only Sree Maa Shri Ji who can remove 3D/4D dense obsolete grids and are the bringers of this superb upgrade to souls who are ready and also to introduce Sree Maa Shri Ji to new-comers who had no clue how this advanced work is being offered and by who it is being done, it was collectively decided to keep Sree Maa Shri Ji's photo in the room and a 2 to 3 hours super-sonic short-cut format was decided upon to reach many more people 🙏

Potential questions that could be asked by the participants were discussed and the best answers were collated to maintain consistency in all regions🙏 An "after-care email" was to be sent to all new 5D++ Pulsars after the 5D++ AwaKeNiN TrAnsFOrMaTiON workshop that gave them clear information about how to contact Sree Maa Shri Ji, how to tune-in with QVSWPP, how to easily integrate the process etc. and a 'tune up call' to be held after a minimum of 21 days with Sree Maa Shri Ji where all new 5D++ Pulsars would be able to meet Sree Maa Shri Ji and ask questions🙏

Sree Maa Shri Ji have given so much space and trust, listened to what we had to say, kept the myriad cadre of FiTs and their weaknesses and strengths in mind, what the souls of the new participants would need, to help us strengthen and never deviate from the core principle of being the Akarmi, non-doer, this new format was approved by Sree Maa Shri Ji to take the vision and mission of Kosmic Fusion forward🙏💫

This was an excellent platform for all FiTs to develop their own faith and trust in Sree Maa Shri Ji that Sree Maa Shri Ji would shower the same Grace on new participants just in a span of 2 hours when each of the FiTs had had a different process ranging from days to months🙏💞

atyant AbhAr Sree Maa Shri Ji for trusting me and giving me a superb platform to volunteer in non-action 🙇

May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat Part 2 - Transcendence

There were many discourses given as always and Sree Maa Shri Ji encouraged everyone to bring their questions to transcend out of the layers of avidya (lack of knowledge) and agnyan (ignorance).

Sree Maa Shri Ji explained to us about the Guru Mantra and then gave us time to think if we wanted to be initiated into it. As dakshina, each one of us gave a bad habit that we wanted to get rid off. Guru Mantra was the door way to be initiated into being a Sanatana Dharmi, the one who lives righteously like an akarmi (non-doer). All this was explained very clearly.

i already had 3 mantras that i was using to meditate on, two had been given when i was initiated into TM and the third one for Sahaj Samadhi meditation and all 3 had been substantial in my spiritual growth. i didn't know what to do with them and voiced it to Sree Maa Shri Ji. It took 1 minute for Sree Maa to clear away the antar dwand (inner conflict) i was experiencing based on one of the discourses Sree Maa had given previously and it made sense that all mantras initiated from AUM. i chose to receive the initiation.

During the initiation, the conflict that i had experienced earlier came and stood right in front of me. My own conscience shouted at me for being selfish and betraying my first Guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar who had helped me unconditionally in my time of need. He never forced his teachings and courses on me, i had gone and done them, benefitted from them and chose him as my Guru, taken respite at his Ashram and now suddenly as i found something more advanced and better, i was disowning him. i felt really bad that i was letting him go after selfishly using him, his teachings and his techniques until i wanted to. The tap of tears opened again and i just couldn't move forward to receive the soundless sound mantra. In that moment, i called out to him and he showed up. The closure that he gave me has been instrumental in keeping my faith in the Guru principle and to move forward in truly accepting Sree Maa Shri Ji as my Guru. i still find it very overwhelming to express this part and am taking the liberty to share the audio recording where i shared my experience. Humbly requesting all listeners to listen to it from the recesses of your soul and not the judgement of the ego as i was reeling under very intense emotions and a phase of shift and transformation when i did the sharing_/\_ Gratitude in advance for your understanding and empathy_/\_

May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat Part 1 - Practitioner's Training

It was the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat that was a game changer. This is also where all FiTs met everyone in a physical location. i first met Sarah Sunshine (Sarala), Jabeen McMohan (Jwala),  Cherry Weir (Nirali), Mima (Mahima), Tiffanie Lim/Tara and Manjit Surry/Mala.

The first 4 days of the Retreat was Practitioner's training which was attended by over 20 5D++ Pulsars inclusive of FiTs. i must have attended 3 or 4 practitioner trainings with Sree Maa Shri Ji since 2012 and i must say that each time i learnt something new as the course content was different. All trainings were experiential and the only thing that remained constant was to 'STEP-BACK' to allow the QVSWPP to step in, be the NON-DOER. There were multitude of discourses given in all trainings by Sree Maa covering a range of subjects and so many initiations and blessings were graced on everyone of which i don't have a count. i only feel Gratitude for SreeMaaShriJi__/\o_

One of the experiences that SreeMaaShriJi Graced everyone was 'Visiting the Abode of the Absolute'. This was a very profound experience, almost next to Samadhi. i could only feel my heartbeat and had zero awareness of anything else. Don't remember where i went but recall prostrating to Sree Maa and Shri Ji. Had lost all track of time. Suddenly heard Sree Maa's voice in the room to offer gratitude before leaving and come back in the body, i felt my entire heart area open up, like someone had opened a door and lifted weight off. i have never felt so light and fresh as i did that day when i visited the Abode of the Absolute, like i am not the body and mind but just Atma_/\_

Om Sai Brahman, the greeting that all FiTs were using with one another was introduced to the Practitioners as well and the meaning explained. Value of prostration that was explained in the Sanatana Dharma what's app chat group in Mar 2015 was explained in detail with the movement of energetic currents in the body to everyone attending this Practitioner workshop. This hadn't been explained in the previous Practitioner workshops. There were a few who had their reservations about it and there was absolutely no force or compulsion on them. i loved doing it in Sree Maa Shri Ji's lotus-feet. i always felt a soothing wave when i did my shashtang dandavats to Sree Maa and a very strong wave when i did it in Shri Ji's lotus feet.  It was evident that whatever Absolute Truth Sree Maa revealed, it wasn't always limited to just FiTs, it was incorporated in other workshops too and really, that's how the course content was very dynamic. Repeating workshops with Sree Maa wasn't boring or repetitive but highly dynamic as the initiations and Absolute Truth shared were different in each one. Sree Maa is an extremely spirited and versatile mentor_/\_

On the last day of the Practitioner workshop, Sree Maa Shri Ji offered the organ cleanse for which all FiTs had been recommended to take the homeopathic detox medicine. Grace of removal of entities from the organs was offered to even the Practitioners who were not going to stay back for FiT training by beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji. The experience was very intense where i felt intense rage surface and release. i had tears rolling down like a tap had been opened. i still recall that i never felt anything in the body and never felt any love but felt huge Gratitude for Sree Maa Shri Ji_/\_ Sree Maa Shri Ji ended the workshop with everyone listening and singing 'Achyutam Keshavam' and Sree Maa explaining the meaning of the beautiful bhajan_/\_

Main Apki atyant AbhAri hoon aur sadA rahoongi Sree Maa Shri Ji for the immense Grace showered, especially the organ cleanse, where the brunt of transmuting the slush was taken by Sree Maa Shri Ji on their own bodies. Sree Maa Shri Ji were very unwell after the Retreat but not once complained or mentioned about it to anyone_/\_ It was Archita who had stayed back after the Retreat for some time noticed and wrote an email to all FiTs about the same_/\_

Kosmic Fusion, School of Absolute Truth

2014 was an eventful year with a lot of online FiT calls, training videos, Kosmic Tribe get togethers, meet up meditations, Kosmic clinics etc. There was a 9 days online Akashic Records Master Readers Workshop in July 2014 and i was most impressed with Sree Maa Shri Ji's commitment levels. Sree Maa Shri Ji lead by example. This was also the year where we wrote letters to self-reflect and introspect. i wrote my first SELF to self letter in Aug 2014. Till date i like to refer to my self-reflection letters written from SELF to self and self to SELF and use them as a measure to gauge how i have grown and how to tackle my small self when it acts like a stubborn child that does not want to budge.

To help all FiTs to bond, Sree Maa Shri Ji organized a personal communal session in Dec 2014. i had a strong reaction against it and disrupted the entire session mid-way. Sree Maa never till date once reprimanded or commented how i disrupted Sree Maa's session with the entire group and has displayed to me by example that non-doer has zero expectations, an example of nishkaam karma that i realized much later.

Open reflection was encouraged very highly by Sree Maa to help break ice and to view, witness and move out of the ego patterns in the latter part of 2014. Even though Sree Maa had said it openly that the ego was everyone's own responsibility, as the phase 1 was reaching an end, Sree Maa out of compassion and love and in preparation for the formal launch of the FiT Programme helped FiTs to look at their grey shades. One such reflection question and answer session on the 'FiT' whats app group chat is as follows:







The mentoring style was novel and done on what's app as all FiTs were in different time zones. The reflection questions posed by Sree Maa were aimed at breaking the ego out of it's comfort zone and the Absolute Truth shared were unparalleled. Sree Maa always kept a very honest and truthful approach and the feedback given was always based on Absolute Truth that Sree Maa shared through out the programme. Well! Kosmic Fusion was the School of Absolute Truth, so how could this ingredient be missing😉

Phase 1 was coming to an end. The doer stepped in every now and then but stepping-back was becoming easier with constant practice and awareness and mainly by tuning-in to QVSWPP which could be done anytime anywhere. Consistently operating as the non-doer was still work in progress and the reflection and self introspection were key elements in staying in the non-doer zone🙏🙇

Volunteering and realizations in FiT Trial

i realized in the very early stages of FiT trial that it wasn't as much about organizing events for Kosmic Fusion and spreading the word but more a practical field for all FiTs to practice 'stepping-back' and witness how effortlessly QVSWPP manifested things beyond the mind's capacity to understand. Most FiTs realized how the doer stepped in and reacted with others' doers and required constant commitment, effort and awareness to remain in the non-doer zone. There were many online training calls held for all FiTs by Sree Maa. This is how all FiTs started interacting as all of us were based in different parts of the world. Sree Maa put every effort, time and energy to bring all volunteers together and operate in oneness despite diverse cultural and spiritual beliefs and practices. No one was discriminated against and the main focus was QVSWPP, non-doer and understanding IT’s nuances

Training was quite unprecedented that was done on whats app group chats, online meetings and by watching video recordings of Sree Maa's training and discourses previously given. I AM Series and Kosmic Absolute were some that i saw videos of. Sree Maa gave a brilliant discourse on 'Energetic Synthesis for Empaths and Sensitives' and told me that the discourse applied to me. It gave me a great understanding of what i had experienced for a really long time and my love, faith and respect increased at how tuned in Sree Maa was with my soul and the inner questioning of my antahkaran.

TranScEnDeNcE 8-12 Workshop via webinar in April 2013 was where i understood well that non-doer was the basis for transcending the small self. Many initiations were done and blessings showered energetically by beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji like the Sree-Chakra Grid initiation in June 2013. i was also very fortunate to receive 2 soul mapping sessions from Sree Maa. The first one in Sep 2013 was interactive where Sree Maa gave insights into the soul's reason for birth, purpose in this lifetime, personality ray, monadic ray etc. Some of it corroborated with what i had already realized under self-hypnosis and practice hypnotherapy sessions that i was pursuing alongside, some, life experiences had already taught me and some guidance was absolutely new and revealing. Sree Maa was truly an exceptional soul. 
The second soul mapping in 2014 was a silent one as i really had no questions and in full trust i allowed the session to unfold energetically. 

Sada Apki AbhAri rahoongi beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji for never breaking my trust and for guiding me selflessly towards my True Soul💕🙏🙇

DFE, Pratyaksh pramana

i was also practicing hypnotherapy sessions in 2013/14. i had remembered Sree Maa's guidance in the Practitioner's training not to mix modalities. With one of my clients under hypnosis, a Dark Force Entity (DFE) surfaced up that was unwilling to leave. i had only dealt with entities and spirits and having a DFE surface up was a different ball game altogether. 

For 45 mins i struggled, using every tool and technique in my kitty to make it go, but nothing was working. On the contrary, i was being heralded with abuses and threats by this DFE via the client. Can't deny i felt scared and the DFE tried to magnify the fear that i was feeling. It even told me not to look at my books for scripts to release DFE which i always kept by my side during a session to refer to. It was watching me through my client's third eye. It even tried bring out my own darkness by giving me a lecture that darkness is in everyone. 

i finally threatened it back to shut up. Not knowing what to do further, i surrendered and silently shared QVSWPP with the client. Within 5 to 10 seconds, the DFE said it's leaving and to stop doing whatever i was doing. i was astounded and had a pratyaksh pramana (proof) of what had been the foremost nuance of QVSWPP, that anything lower in vibration than the mother of all energies, vibrations and frequencies, The QVSWPP, can not stay in IT's Presence. DFE of course had no chance and did not go to light but left the client to go to it's own realm. This incident was a huge turning point in the way i viewed things. Things that were bookish knowledge earlier were turning into experiences that my mind couldn't deny. What an experience and i felt supremely grateful to Sree Maa Shri Ji for gifting something superbly spectacular. Must confess felt a little stupid as well that it was less than a 10 seconds job for QVSWPP where i struggled for 45 mins. From that day on, my first session with all new hypnotherapy clients was a session of QVSWPP. Whether they liked it or not, believed it or not, this was my style of offering therapy, take it or leave it😝

The journey and the revelations that QVSWPP was weaving and the self realizations i was having were unique and remarkable. The doer had started relying a lot on QVSWPP which was a good sign as it was acting like a friend to the non-doer instead of an enemy. 

What a practice ground Sree Maa Shri Ji had provided where without being told what to say or do, i had the freedom to draw my own conclusions from my experiences🙏 and yet Sree Maa Shri Ji were always available via emails, what's app to listen to my experiences and answer my questions 🙇❗